Chair Monster Spotted

You have heard of the Loch Ness Monster and Big Foot, but yesterday, I saw the most frightening monster of all.  It was big, ugly and ferocious.  It rose up from the showroom floor with a huge roar and overpowered everything around it.  I saw a Bergere chair run off in fear and a traditional wing back look at it with a sneer.  A man walked close by and it looked at him, smacking its chops and eager for him to pull into his snare.   Although it is a monster, it is also known for its charismatic personality that draws some in, until it is too late too escape.  As I walked with my client, I saw her look in its direction.  “No,” I screamed, “do not look directly into its eyes!”  The monster began doing its dance of seduction, promising soft cushy seating and a place to keep a 6 pack cold. 

Here I come to Save the Day!

 ”My husband would love that,” as she took a step forward, closer to its ugly teeth.  I had to snap into Super Decorator mode.  I slapped on my cape and plunged in to to save her.  I pulled her away, slapped her back into her sensibilities, and out of the corner of my eye, the monster snorted with frustration.   I swore many years ago that I would not let it get another one of my clients.  It is my job to protect the unwitting who do not realize that once the moster gets you, the transformation takes place.  Men suddenly become slack-jawed with a little bit of spittle coming out the corner of their mouth, eyes half-closed and only moving from the monster when they absolutely need to use the necessary room.  Otherwise, they simply lift the monster’s arm, pull a cold one out of the built-in cooler and settle back for a stupified approach to life. 

Phew, my tactics worked, I got her away and soon we were off looking for a chair that was not so monstrous and cunning.  We found her husband a wonderful reclining chair that was handsome, comfortable and stylish.  The monster was thwarted once again!